7 Signs your friends are Jealous of you

Envy is a lousy trait to have, it can cause unwanted animosity and create rage. The same friends that smile in your face could be hiding behind a mask to cover up the little green monster. Thus, here are seven signs that your friend is jealous of you.

1.) Never compliment you

These friends never seem to like any of your posts on social media. They’ll follow all your accounts, watch your story but as soon as you post that selfie or that cute full body photo they will never double tap or hit the like button. If you go to a party together or hit the bars, usually friends will compliment how you look but not these friends. Making a comment on how cute your outfit is, or how nice your hair and makeup looks is like a chore to them, hard for them to do. When you accomplish something, win something or do great things they never congratulate you or even acknowledge it. Not that you need your friend’s validation but real friends hype each other up, make each other feel good about themselves.

2.) Amplify your mistakes

These friends seem happy to see you fail. They’ll celebrate at your failures too. They may make comments like “I agree….. I felt that you deserved it”. They hate to see you win but get great joy in seeing you fail. They will constantly bring up mistakes you’ve made in the past to bring you down in the present. They do this because they want you to feel bad about yourself so that you feel inadequate. They refuse to acknowledge your growth and want to keep you stuck in the past.

3.) Spread your business

You could tell your friend some personal things out of confidence, but they will disrespect your confidentiality and tell everyone they know your personal business. You may hear your business from a person you haven’t even told and wonder how on earth could they have found that out. They do this to bring you down; they want others to view you in a bad light so they will speak badly on your behalf to tarnish your name and character.

4.) Make up rumors about you

Jealous friends need a reason to hate you so they will create scenarios, and tell it to other people to make you look bad. They want a reason to pick a fight with you. They will twist your words and accuse you of saying things you did not say. They usually make you out to be this villain so that others will stop liking you.

5.) Haven’t really liked you since the beginning

Since the first time you met each other there seemed to be this tension going on, and these ill feelings toward you. They seemed to have this problem with you that they aren’t stating but are not good at hiding. You may have this gut feeling that they secretly dislike you. Chances are your intuition isn’t lying to you.

6.) Always trying to compete with you

No matter the circumstance they always have to one-up you in some way. If the attention is on you in anyway, they will try to take the attention off of you to be put on them. They will wait for you to mess up because that is a golden opportunity to make themselves look better. They will use your downfall as a way to step on you to reach the top, and to boost their image or character.

7.) Accuse you of thinking you are better than everyone else

Whenever a person tells you, “You think you’re better than everybody!” that person is projecting, they think you ARE better than them. They are jealous of your confidence and mindset because they wish they had it themselves. Because they lack confidence they will accuse you of being cocky or conceited.

Jealous friends are no different than haters, just confused fans. They secretly like and admire you, wish they had what you had and hate you because they don’t have it like it’s your fault. They follow your social media accounts to watch from afar waiting to see if you have failed yet. Once you start looking happy with your life they will come around to kill your joy. They hate to see you happy, they want you to be miserable like them. They are like that Ex that comes around when you’ve moved on.

The best way to handle these friends is to start keeping your distance from them, don’t share with them your personal business, spend less time hanging around them, remove them from your social media and ignore them when they pick fights with you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them, if they are jealous they are toxic, and toxic people drain our energy, rub off on us and slow us down.

Is my friend a narcissist? 10 Signs you’re dealing with a narcissistic person

Do you have a friend that seems to switch up their behavior with you? Do they act one way when you are together but when they are around a different group of friends they are a totally different person? Does it seem like you are a better friend to them than they are to you? Do you feel like you over-extend yourself with this friend? If you answered yes to any of those questions then chances are you are a dealing with a narcissistic individual and it may be time to cut ties with this person, run for the hills and never look back! It may sound a little crazy but these are not good people to surround yourself with. But only YOU can be the judge of that because you know them personally. Go through the list below and see if your friend has any of the qualities of a narcissist.

To start What is a Narcissist?

A Narcissist is an individual that has a grandiose sense of importance, they are selfish and lack empathy. They have an inflated need for attention and admiration with little to no regards for others.

Here are ten signs that your friend is a narcissist.

1.) They take but never give

Narcissists or Narcs are energy vampires. They are always taking from others draining their energy without giving anything back in return. A narc friend could ask you to do ten things for them and you willingly oblige. But they are reluctant to do just one thing for you when you ask. They will make excuses as to why they can’t do it or just flat out tell you “no”. If you feel that what you do for your friend is never reciprocated then you’re dealing with a narc.

2.) Disrespectful

This friend is verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive. They use cutting words when addressing you, use remarks to put you down and try to invalidate your feelings. You might have first passed it off as the friend just being passive-aggressive or you gave them the benefit of the doubt because you are friends but certain boundaries should not be crossed. A narcissist has no clear boundaries for anyone and will speak to you anyway they please and will not care how it affects you.

3.) Always asking for favors

This friend is always asking you to do something for them. Whenever they call or text you it’s not to check up on you but because they want something from you. To add, they never seem to say thank you for obliging their request. Instead they’ll say “You’re so sweet” “You’re so nice”. They are never grateful for the things you do for them because they think they rightfully deserve to have others serving them.

4.) They show little interest in you

Whenever you hang with this friend they pay little attention to you. While you give them your undivided attention when they are talking they don’t actively listen to you when it’s your turn to speak. They’re usually scrolling through their phone or distracting themselves with something else. You usually have to repeat what you say to them after every thought because they were never listening.

5.) Entitled

They have this attitude that everything is about them. They have to decide everything, control everything, each decision made is only to benefit them.

6.) Lack of Accountability

They can take advantage of you, use you, disrespect you, but when you finally speak up on their behavior they deny everything. They accuse you of lying, they gaslight you and completely disregard everything they’ve done to you. Even with actual proof of their behavior they still deny it. Narcs are the only villains that pretend to be the victim.

7.) Ungrateful

They never seem to appreciate all that you do for them. It doesn’t matter if you feed them, clothe them, lend them money, let them stay over your house or go out of your way to do them a favor they still will never be grateful for you and thank you. This goes into their sense of entitlement they feel they deserve to have things done for them, not earn them. Can you remember the last time they said “thank you” when you did something for them? If you can’t that’s a problem, they don’t appreciate you at all.

8.) Manipulative

They are only nice to you when it’s convenient for them, just to gain something from you. They like to stir up drama between people. They like to manipulate people’s thoughts, throw people under the bus in order to get people to view someone in a negative light. They will bring up past events to demean someone’s character. They will say or do whatever and stop at nothing to get what they want. They have this constant need for control. They will go out of their way to hurt another person so that they can feel powerful. They gain power by putting others down.

9.) Brag about their other friends

Do you ever hang with this friend and they seem to always bring up their best friend? It doesn’t matter the conversation it somehow always routes back to their best friend. They talk about how awesome they are, how much fun they have with them, how much they love them and it’s like a giant middle finger to you. It might be to secretly make you jealous. It’s okay to talk about your friends every now and again to show how much you care about them, but when it becomes excessive and almost obsessive it seems very sketchy. Could this person be another victim of their narcissistic supply? Could this be another co-dependent relationship?

10.) Act different around other friends

Last but not least, a major indicator that your friend is a narcissist is when they act different around other friends versus when they are just with you. Narcissists have an image to uphold so around others they have to establish their dominance and they will do what they need to keep that even at your expense. This friend could also be talking badly about you behind your back (because they are two-faced and not a true friend) so when you all are around the friend group that they gossip with about you, they tease you, belittle you and put you down to impress those friends.

If you made it this far in the article thanks for reading! I hope that this was helpful and shined a light on your friendship for you to clearly see the issues at hand. I hope you heal from those relationships, I hope you choose yourself and decide to walk away from friendships that do not respect, serve or appreciate you. You are too good of a person to deal with that abuse.

Always moving just slows you down

We often feel that we always have to be moving, doing something productive and keeping ourselves busy. We are told we should either be in school, or working a job or else we look as if we aren’t doing much with our lives. Being still is frowned upon, you are called lazy. But for what reason? What’s wrong with taking a step back, a break to do some self reflecting, resetting and redirecting. Although we aren’t in school studying subjects that really don’t apply to the real world or working a draining job with an hourly wage, that does not equate that we are not doing any work at all. What we are doing is the inner work. The type of work that most adults tend to avoid because it is the hardest to endure.

To begin with, the main reason why adults feel that they MUST constantly be working, involved with several activities, clubs and organizations or spend majority of their time enrolled in school, is because of the societal programming that’s been instilled in us since birth. You must go to school to get an education. You must have an education to get a job. You must get a job to keep a roof over your head, pay your bills and feed your kids. “You must…. you must…. you must..” These created rules are only distractions. Intending to keep you away from yourself, trying to distract you from finding your passion and your purpose.

The matrix programs us to believe that this is how it works, that we need to be constantly working, moving, being productive, involved in extra curricular activities and basically doing whatever we can to keep ourselves busy. We involve ourselves in so much so that we can fill up our resume, impress others and prove to ourselves that we can handle a jammed packed schedule. However, while doing this we are stretching ourselves too thin. All the opportunities in the world aren’t worth draining your energy. More importantly, it forbids us from allowing our inner self to really shine. Believe it or not, but moving too much actually slows us down.

When we take a break from our priorities and obligations to still ourselves, calm the mind, then we find exactly what were looking for along. When we do the inner work we find our passion and our purpose. Once we know what it is that we actually like to do then we can devote more of our time to our passions and less time to distractions. In addition, freeing up our schedule allows us to find our own inner voice, because once we train ourselves to listen to him/her we will then be led down the right path. Without the inner work, this level cannot be attained.

Devoting time to inner work isn’t always an easy task. That comes with replaying old scenarios, reminiscing over the past, getting caught in our own thoughts and dealing with repressed emotions. In order to let go and move forward, healing and forgiveness must take place first. Before that can take place, one must face the emotions, feel it again, accept the lesson then allow yourself to release the weight.

Moreover, if you are a person that is in school, working, and involved in many different activities and you feel exhausted by the end of the day, I would advise you to take a step back. Review everything you have on your plate and identify which are of most priority and which you enjoy the most. Then identify which you would be okay with removing from your plate. Sometimes we must remove things from our lives to make room for better things to enter. Keep what you enjoy but don’t overwork yourself, it’s okay to put things down if you are juggling too much.

Signs of a Toxic Sibling

9 Signs you grew up with a Toxic Sibling

1) They don’t respect you

Your siblings treat you poorly, they talk to you disrespectfully and have no regards for your feelings. Even if you express to them how the way they treat you makes you feel, they don’t care. They continue to mistreat you without taking your feelings into consideration. That is an unhealthy relationship and no one deserves to put up with that.

2) They are abusive

The abuse could be verbal, emotional, psychological, physical or even sexual. The treatment goes well beyond sibling rivalry or normal sibling banter. They tend to cross boundaries with you and majority of the time they will take it too far with the things they say to you. They gaslight you and call you sensitive for reacting to their abuse. They accuse you of believing it’s all in your head. Also, they are never accountable for their actions and condone their own abuse.

3) They humiliate you

Toxic siblings will bully & demean you in front of other family members or friends. They will insult you or embarrass you in public. They want desperately to have power over you; so at your expense they will treat you like an outcast. They talk trash about you behind your back to other family members and friends; making you out to be a bad person, while teaching others that it’s okay to mistreat you. They do this to have more people on their side and less on yours.

4) They don’t look out for you

They don’t defend you when you aren’t around. If other family members talk about you behind your back to your siblings they won’t stick up for you. If your sibling’s friends make fun of you instead of defending you against their friends they will join in on the mockery. They will also be quick to throw you under the bus to protect themselves. If you feel that your sibling won’t come to your rescue in your time of need, then they are toxic.

5) They don’t include you

They don’t invite you to spend time with them, they don’t welcome you to hang with their friends; instead they ostracize you. When news is being spread throughout the family they neglect to inform you of what’s going on. They will feature your cousins or their friends on their social media, but never post you.

6) They Amplify your mistakes

Whenever you make a mistake or do something wrong no matter how big or small, they always blow it well out of proportion to make you feel bad about yourself. They also tell everyone within the family about your mistake so that others will look at you in a negative light. They continuously bring up your mistakes even though time has passed since the situation occurred. In contrast, your achievements are less likely to be acknowledged.

7) They are Two-Faced

One day they will bully and belittle you. Then the next day they are smiling in your face; completely disregarding the fact that they abused you the day before. They tend to treat you differently when around others versus when you two are alone. When the two of you are together they are nice and treat you like their best friend; but as soon as they are around their friends or other family members they act mean, cold and nasty toward you.

8) They aren’t nurturing

They aren’t there for you to be a shoulder to cry on an ear to listen. Often times you were emotionally neglected. If a parent made you cry then they would ridicule you for crying or say things to make you feel worse. You were often screamed at, belittled or blamed for everything.

9) They try to define you

They paint a picture of who they believe you are based off of their own perception of you. They try to force their perception of you onto you in an attempt to make you feel inadequate or believe their false accusations. They say rude and belittling remarks such as, “you’re lazy! You’re immature. You’re mean!” They also try to make your parents believe you are horrible person. They want to make you look bad.

If any of these points describes your siblings chances are you have a toxic sibling in your life. They best way to heal from that childhood trauma is to distance yourself from your siblings. Limit your contact with them or go no contact at all. Seek out professional help like a therapist or counselor. Journal, meditate, or read self help books on healing from your childhood. You did not choose your family, you were born into them and sometimes it’s best to remove yourself and love them from a distance. Staying around family that is toxic only hinders your growth and negatively affects your mental health. Love yourself enough to retreat & heal.